Credit: Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage.com

Lauren Conrad is going rogue.

The L.A. Candy author says that for her next work of literary mastery, she’s planning a darker spinoff of sorts featuring one of her current characters.

“I’m going to take Madison from the book and do a darker series,” she said at The Hills finale party. “I already wrote a little bit and it was really fun.”

L.A. Candy focuses on Jane Roberts, a young woman who moves to Hollywood, gets a job with an event planner and eventually lands a reality show.

That all sounds vaguely familiar …

For Lauren Conrad, L.A. Candy is art imitating life. Or The Hills.

Like LC, Jane isn’t always happy with her fame and the attention it brings, while her friend Madison takes the opposite approach and just eats it up.

Again, feels like we’ve heard this somewhere.

“I think it would be really fun to do it the other way, with someone who loves it,” Conrad said. “Someone who loves fame and plays the game well.”

She certainly has enough real-life material to draw on.

Lauren is still working on the third book in the Candy series, but we’re already looking forward to reading the exploits of crazy Heidi Montag … er, Madison.

Given their history, Kristin Cavallari and Lauren Conrad may never be BFFs. But The Hills stars aren’t exactly feuding, either. The two are “cool,” Kristin says.

The two Laguna Beach beauties famously dated the same guy, Stephen Colletti, on the hit MTV reality show that spawned The Hills, which starred Conrad.

In a hilariously contrived move, Cavallari replaced LC as the protagonist and “narrator” of the series in 2009, when she decided to leave after five seasons.

Following The Hills series finale this week, the two reunited along with the whole cast, past and present, at the live after-show bash at the Roosevelt Hotel.

Despite what some think, the two don’t hate each other at all.

A rare joint Lauren Conrad-Kristin Cavallari photo op!

“I saw her at the wrap party on Saturday and we caught up,” Cavallari said at the after-show party, explaining that they’re now cordial, but that’s about it.

“We are not going to lunch together and I don’t have her phone number, but we are cool,” adds Cavallari of Conrad, who’s kept a low profile this past year.

Both girls also dated Brody Jenner at some point.

Speaking of that guy, whose fake relationship with Kristin was a primary, bogus story line this season, he’s now with Avril Lavigne – but still close to Kristin.

“Our friendship is the most important thing and I don’t think that anything will ever get in the way of that,” says Cavallari, who’s dating Miguel Medina.

Nice to see Kristin and LC on good terms. But if you had to pick …

Truth be told, The Hills should have ended when Lauren Conrad left the show, and it came as no surprise that the series finale felt rather anti-climactic. A bigger surprise however, was that ending – after 20 minutes or so of staged goodbyes, an acoustic version of Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten,” and a delightful montage of memories stemming all the way back to some cast members’ Laguna Beach days, Kristin Cavallari gave Brody Jenner a tearful hug goodbye before she left for Europe (where in Europe? Don’t worry about it. Just Europe. The whole country) and the Hollywood backgdrop rolled away to reveal a studio lot, cameras, crews, and a blaring reminder that this show is no more real than most of Heidi Montag‘s body. The unexpected ending also proved to audiences that the people behind The Hills are a little more self-aware than we’ve been led to believe. Was that ending meta? Was it an attempt to admit the extent that the show is a product of scripted storylines? Do I really care? I can at least answer that last question with a resounding no.

On a side note, the trailer for Eat, Pray, Love makes me regret every negative word I’ve ever uttered toward the book… that I haven’t read. But yeah, that movie looks awesome. That trailer? Delightful. Well-done. A cinematic masterpiece in under a minute. It’s really brutal going from that back to The Hills. There’s a serious quality discrepancy going on.

Look, there’s a lot more I could write about this closing episode. I could mention how Lo drops “like” every other sentence but appears to be 23-going-on-a-30-something-housewife. Or how I’m pretty sure lifeguard tower #24 is actually in Venice, not Hermosa Beach, but Audrina is probably too dead behind the eyes to remember that she’s supposedly living in this model home. And Steph, poor Steph, well, the girl never quite figured out how to make her hair and make-up look quite as nice as the others. An A for effort, sweetie! And finally, much like the average show gracing the airwaves today, this episode culminated with closure for the central romantic couple, even though I don’t care much about Kristin or Brody. I am somewhat curious to know what Stacie the Bartender is up to. Think she’s still working at The Dime? But I found the finale, minus the surprise twist ending, miserable, and I’m too exhausted by its supreme inanity to comment further.

The truth in all of this is that lives were made (see: Lauren, Whitney Port), lives were ruined (see: Speidi) but the real fallout was on America. The Hills changed the development and understanding of reality TV, changed the meaning and presentation of this genre as a whole, and set the course for more like-minded spectacles on television networks the country-over. It’s the show I’ve loved to hate, but feel nothing but relief that it’s finally ended its tenure. May all those starlets fall back into the recesses of an unexamined, camera-free existence.

P.S. Hey Brody – when your bizarre relationship with Avril Lavigne comes to an end, call me.

With tearful goodbyes, key story lines wrapped up and a post-show appearance by former star Lauren Conrad, much fanfare surrounded The Hills finale.

But while the live after-party (click here for cast photos) celebrated the six-season run, many fans were left scratching their heads about the last scene.

As Tuesday’s episode drew to a close, Kristin Cavallari stepped into a waiting car destined for the airport, allegedly to catch a flight bound for Europe.

She left a tearful Brody Jenner behind, waving goodbye … or not. The camera panned out to reveal the entire production crew, set and cameramen.

Did The Hills just punk viewers who ate this stuff up for six seasons, then rub their noses in it with an overt F-You to end the last of its 102 episodes?

That’s what it felt like!

Brody Jenner and Kristin Cavallari make a good-looking fake couple.

“The thing is, as you saw at the end, what’s real, what’s fake, you don’t know,” Jenner said. “Our relationship, the entire time could have been fake. That’s one of the questions: what was real and what was fake, and we left it [open].”

Kristin Cavallari said she enjoyed the way the show concluded: “I think we both couldn’t have been happier with the ending. We were speechless.”

The acting was pretty good, we’ll admit.

Their co-star, Lo Bosworth, was equally impressed with the way The Hills finale came to an end: “You know when the last scenes of the show were happening, I got a little [lump] in my throat,” she said. “They were great. I loved it.”

Come on. While not every aspect of the show is fake (most likely), there’s not much interpretation to do about Brody and Kristin. It was all fake, not real.

She’s dating a Hills cameraman and knew full well he has been with Avril Lavigne. Which is fine, except that MTV always billed this as a reality show. Now they’re admitting they script whatever they want, but with some profound point?

Please.

After a six season run, MTV’s The Hills sadly came to a close last night. We can’t believe it’s only been two short years since the star – perhaps you’ve heard of her? – Lauren Conrad stepped off that plane at Charles de Gaulle Airport, wearing a chic oversized beige trench coat loosely hanging from her shoulders and casually knotted round the front – for whom does this not evoke the image of a young Coco Chanel in sailor’s pea coat? – her silken blonde hair capped with a heavy knit cream beret – Faye Dunaway in Bonnie and Clyde, or the Prince song, had he the foresight not to sing about a garish color like raspberry – Lauren Conrad’s strikingly well-shaped legs hugged by tan and white striped stockings – Wizard of Oz, when the farbissiner gets the house dropped on her – but offsetting these neutrals – to remind: trench coat, stockings, beret – with a pair of purple boots – Nancy Sinatra, but ankle length.

As she hit the streets of Paris, little did Lauren Conrad know what a hectic week Lauren Conrad would be having. Between Lauren Conrad’s midnight jaunt to the Eiffel Tower atop a Vespa – in a cute sweater and chic legging jeans – and Lauren Conrad’s work at the Hôtel de Crillon’s Bal des Débutantes – in a sumptuous Alberta Ferretti; not to be mistaken with the one accidentally burned with a curling iron, though that was also a Ferretti, and equally as sumptuous – Lauren Conrad escaped the glare of the Parisian lights to catch up with Joan of Arc.

At seventeen, Joan has maintained a balance between her strongly rooted faith, the latest fashion trends, and an exotic beauty regimen – all of this while engaged in the very stressful task of directing the French resistance against the English during the Hundred Years War.

With the television series drawn to a close, we thought it would be a wonderful opportunity to publish the interview, conducted at Joan’s camp outside of Reims, where Lauren Conrad was granted a rare glimpse into the life of the sometimes devilish, sometimes divine Maid of Orleans. We believe the words of this particularly impressive talent speak for themselves. (Joan’s bit isn’t that bad, either.)

Lauren Conrad: Wow, good morning. It’s so awesome to meet you.

Joan of Arc: By the grace of God, I am pleased to be able to stand in your presence.

LC: Tell me about the real Joan of Arc. What makes a simple country girl like you all of a sudden become “the Maid of Orleans?”

JA: You might very well ask me one sort of question which I would answer truly, and another sort which I would not answer.

LC: Rock on. So, I guess what most people know about you is your religion. Could you tell us a little about that?

JA: I was in my thirteenth year when I heard a voice from God to help me govern my conduct. And, the first time, I was very much afraid.

LC: Umm, excuse me? The “voice of God?”

JA: It was in my father’s garden. I heard the voice on my right, in the direction of the church.

LC: That’s so strange. I know that sometimes after going to the clubs, I get this ringing in my ears that doesn’t go away for a couple of days. Are you sure it wasn’t that?

JA: It was Saint Michael, whom I saw before my eyes. He was not alone, but was accompanied by many angels from Heaven. I saw them with my bodily eyes, as well as I am seeing you.

LC: Club drugs can be a big problem nowadays. When Jason and I were on the rocks, Heidi (you know, back when we were talking) and I went out to this dive on the strip, and this totally sketchy guy was near the bar, and Heidi went off to go dancing and I turned my head for just one minute, and I think he totally slipped something into my drink because I was all woozy and…

JA: I do not partake in the drinking of wine nor of dancing. The angels often come among us. Others may not see them, but I…

LC: You don’t dance? Like, never?

JA: It is against the ways of God, my redeemer in battle, and that which St. Margaret and…

LC: So no dancing at all? Umm, okay. What does the Maid of Orleans to have a little fun?

JA: Since I learned that I must come into France, I took as little part as possible in games or dancing. I learned to sew linen and fabrics and to spin wool, and when it comes to spinning and sewing, I fear no woman!

LC: Wow. So you’re, umm, into crafts? One time at summer camp, I guess I made one of those dream weavers, you know, those things made of sticks that you hang in your window…

JA: I know not what you speak of.

LC: You’d probably know it if you saw it. But this tent? That chest, amazing! To die for! Let me guess… Anthropologie?

JA: The chest was plundered from the castle of the Duke of Burgundy.

LC: Antiques are really the latest thing. Just so in right now. And where did you find those adorable miniatures hanging around your room?

JA: That is Saint Michael, whom I saw before my eyes, and Saint Catherine and Saint Margaret, who come to me that I should act on their advice.

LC: The colors totally work with the tent’s fabric. And keeping things that you cherish is so important.

JA: Yes.

LC: Anyway, I know this is kind of personal, and I’m way embarrassed to ask, but what do you do to keep your skin so flawless? Between the Ayurvedic exfoliating scrubs, the seaweed wraps, the liquorice, guano, and huckleberry ankle microdermabrasion peels… I mean, they’re fine, I guess. But for us girls on the go, we just don’t have time. Am I right?

JA: I bathe just once a month, not more, in the waters of the spring at my hometown. And weekly, I wash myself in the urine of a female goat to ward off the elements of the plague.

LC: Umm, you do have that very rugged, outdoorsy thing going on. I guess it’s very European, you know? Like, the body hair and the weird haircut and all. And your clothes… Yes, your clothes! Tell us about your clothes!

JA: I wear masculine garments in token of future victory for I have been sent by God to preach by word and by dress.

LC: So you’ve incorporated your life mentality into the way you dress. That’s so awesome! Have you ever thought of getting together with, like, H&M, or even Abercrombie and Fitch, and starting your own diffusion line?

JA: My one mission is to help Charles, the true king of France, and to set him firm upon his throne from whence the king of England and the duke of Burgundy are striving to chase him.

LC: Okay, so, this Charles, the “dauphin” if you will… There’s nothing between you two?

JA: I shall not tell you this.

LC: I mean, you’ve devoted your life to this guy, and you’re saying there’s nothing going on?

JA: This is not to be answered to you, but send to the king himself, and he will tell you.

LC: Like, seriously, Joan, there’s no need to get testy… Put down the sword or this interview’s totally over!

JA: I have done nothing save by revelation. The Lord wills that I do so. God’s will determines the shape of my earthly mission.

LC: And speaking of shape, it can be so upsetting, all the rumors swirling around, the magazine covers saying that you lost 20 pounds, you gained 40 pounds, blah, blah, blah. I mean, you’ve got to have discipline, right? I do about two hours a day with my trainer, jog three miles, try to fit in a yoga class twice a week. But how do you keep in shape?

JA: I eat a pot of boiled radishes every morning.

LC: Umm, a high-fiber, low-carb lifestyle diet?

JA: Yes.

LC: Okay, it’s been real. Thanks so much for your time. Is there anything you want to leave our readers with?

JA: King of England, I am a captain, and assure you that wherever I find your people in France, I shall make them leave, and if they will not obey, I shall have to put them to death. I am sent here by God the King of Heaven to push…

LC: Anything a bit more, like, not so weird?

JA: Yes. I am against smoking. It is a bad habit.

Author’s Note: The majority of Joan of Arc’s dialogue comes from translations of her letters and trial.

The entire cast of The Hills, minus the vanquished Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, but including alumni Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port, commemorated the hit MTV series’ final episode Tuesday night with one last bash in Hollywood.

So much has changed between The Hills finale and what began as a Laguna Beach spinoff 102 episodes ago. But it was great to see LC back, since she started it all.

On hand were the likes of Kristin Cavallari, Brody Jenner and Audrina Patridge, along with bit players Justin-Bobby, Lo, Stephanie, that Stacie girl and many more.

Click to enlarge the photos below …

Credit: Frank Micelotta/Get(…)

Spencer Pratt has been very … well, non-Spencer Pratt lately.

Uncharacteristically absent from the spotlight, he hasn’t been seen in public in over a month, or on The Hills, where he and Heidi Montag were cut loose without any explanation from the show, which ends its six-season run tonight.

Might he be planning a surprise – and unwelcome – public foray this evening? Implying he may crash The Hills finale party, he Tweeted on Tuesday:

“Booking my room @Roosevelt Hotel Hollywood now that I have no place to live I think i should just move in there today (to) stay near the action.”

No place to live? We know he looks like a homeless man, but is Spencer Pratt really out on the street? At least he’s comfortable as a mountain man …

If Spencer Pratt does crash The Hills’ live post-finale bash, we hope he bursts on stage dressed like this. Fingers crossed. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Wouldn’t you know it, the Hollywood Roosevelt is the site of tonight’s finale party, for which Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are not on the guest list.

Kristin Cavallari, Brody Jenner and other stars will be on hand, along with the show’s two most famous alumnae, Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port.

No Speidi, though, after clashes with Hills creator Adam DiVello on and off set led to an unceremonious, unexplained parting of ways with the show.

Heidi’s also moving forward with plans to divorce him, supposedly.

Cavallari calls the situation “sad,” and says as far as she knows, no one has spoken to either member of the duo since they last filmed together.

“I’ve reached out to Heidi,” says Kristin, who fixed up Speidi. “I can’t get a hold of her because she changed her number. I’d love to talk to her.”

In what would be the most nonsensical, contrived move yet by MTV, Stephanie Pratt is reportedly joining The City once The Hills goes off the air next week.

According to reports, Spencer’s sister has been speaking with producers of The Hills spinoff and is intent on coming aboard Whitney Port’s reality series.

The City also stars Elle employees Olivia Palermo and Erin Kaplan, and recently cast Whitney’s BFF Roxy Olin, who coincidentally works with Port now.

The Hills is ending its six-season run a week from tonight, but Stephanie Pratt, who joined a few years back, isn’t ready for her 15 minutes to expire.

It’s as inevitable as it is unfortunate.

USELESSNESS PERSONIFIED: Is Stephanie Pratt City-bound?

“Now that The Hills is over, Stephanie has been talking about moving to New York for The City,” a source says. “There would be a lot of drama there.”

The reason? Roxy. “Hex-best friend, Roxy Olin, is a regular on the show, and there’s bad blood because Roxy just dropped Stephanie for Whitney Port.”

Stephanie vs. Roxy? Talk about a battle of useless wannabe fashionistas and reality stars. Remember when Steph also worked for Kelly Cutrone briefly?

Lauren Conrad fired her.

If MTV really decided to transplant Stephanie Pratt, not only would that be really annoying for viewers, but it would destroy any credibility The City has.

Eh, bet you they do it.